Monsters Versus Aliens 2: Vengeance of Flagnar!
by RPMasterweaver
Summary: After saving the world, the monster crew relaxes, content to know they will never be outcasts again. Soon, though, their victory is shattered when they find that SOMEONE'S very annoyed that they blew up Galaxhar. And that someone's got major skills... R
1. Chapter 1

**The following story is in no way funded or supported by Dreamworks entertainment. Despite all the begging the author has done.**

---

_Galaxhar is dead._

Across the stars, those few brave enough to remain out of stasis had watched as the vessel rushed to a small, blue-green rock. They'd seen the large creature captured, and the other one shot; they'd seen the three others enter. And then, amazingly, all of them had exited, and even more astounding, the ship had exploded.

_Galaxhar is dead._

It had taken a bit for the meaning of the event to sink in. But then they all ran to the cryo pods, the stasis tubes, the hypersleep boxes, awakening their long-sleeping friends, and passed on the great news. Soon, all across the sky, the message was being spoken, twirped, chittered, growled, hissed, roared, sang, and even more, as the sapient races came out of hiding...

_Galaxhar is dead._

And in a prisoner facility, one by one, all the frozen criminals were thawed out, tried, and given fair judgement. Many, oh so many, were let free, and the jubilation in the streets reached a crescendo. But then, there was one...

***

"Hey, did you hear? Your old boyfriend got himself blown up!"

The other guard rolled his orbs. "Dude, no. Just-- no. Don't stress her out, she's only just out of cryo."

The first guard held his weapon cautiously but confidently. "You know what she did. I'm doing her a favor, telling her NOW, I think."

"Look, stop. It's not for us to judge, it's for the courts to judge."

"Galaxhar is dead....?"

The guards turned to the prisoner. They glanced at each other, and nodded.

"Interesting...."

"Sorry toots," offered the first one.

"We know how close you were," the second condoled.

"Despite him being an omnicidal maniac--"

"Dude, shut up."

"Well it's true!"

"Just shut up, okay?" snapped the guard. "You're making it worse!"

"No it's okay, I was always aware of my husband's shortcomings," the prisoner assured.

"Still, it's rather rude."

"Hey you heard her, she doesn't mind." The guard shrugged. "Right, to the courts!"

The prisoner began walking, guards close behind her. "Where did he die?"

"Some backwater planet," said the first guard. "Aerth? Erath?"

"I think it was called Heart," quipped the other sarcastically

"What? Who names their planet after a vital organ?"

"I think it's rather romantic," said the prisoner.

"Oh, hardy har har." The guard snapped his talons. Suddenly, he burst forth with "Earth! That was it. Galaxhar abducted some creature on earth, and it blew him up."

"Blew his _ship _up," corrected the other guard.

"Same difference."

"And where is this planet?" asked the prisoner oh so innocently.

The first guard held up a talon. "Ah ah ah! No trying to escape before trial."

The second guard rolled his orbs again. "Oh come on, that's not the only reason that she'd want to know."

"Better safe then sorry!"

"Oh, don't worry, I won't try to escape."

"Well, I'm still not telling you. And neither are you, got that?"

The other guard crossed his wings. "Fine. It's rather--"

He was suddenly ripped in half. Before the first guard could react though, his head was rolling across the ground.

"You see," mused the prisoner, "I find merely trying things to be limiting. I prefer doing things instead." She bent down and picked up the guns, then glanced around her. "Ah, perfect order. How I despise it... One day I'll be back."

Casually, she shot down the cameras, blasted open the door, and walked toward the spaceport. Galaxhar was dead... but Flagnar?

She lived.

***

Ginormica pondered. This was a difficult choice... Far more difficult then anything he'd ever done. Straining her mind to its fullest, she carefully reached out a hand...

"Okay, your turn."

Doctor Cockroach shook his head and pushed a bishop. "I believe that's checkmate, my dear."

Susan clapped her hands. "Dang it. You are good, aren't you?"

"Actually, that last game was rather difficult," admitted the mad scientist. "Only moving one piece one space a turn is a rather annoying handicap."

"But you won," she pointed out. "Again."

"So I did. So I did."

"Would you stop stroking his ego?" Link shouted. "We're trying to focus on a game here. One we can actually _win." _He turned to his right. "Escargantua, got any fives?" He helpfully extended all his fingers.

The snail, who was really only the size of a horse, shook her head. "Non." She gestured to the deck with an antennae, adjusting her beret. It was amazing how quickly she'd adjusted... but then, she'd been a normal snail until recently.

Link sighed and drew. "Okay... B.O.B., your turn."

"Huh?"

"Your turn. You ask somebody for cards."

The blob rolled his eye. "Sheesh, I'm not stupid. Hey! Doc!"

The bug man walked over to the edge of the massive table. "Yes...?"

"Got any threes?"

There was a moment of silence. Susan began examining the ceiling. Link's head was clasped in one scaled hand. Escargantua was staring at B.O.B. in disbelief. Insectisaurus let out a moderate grumble.

Finally, somewhat hesitantly, Doctor cockroach ventured a "...No. No, I do not. I'm sorry."

"Oh. Well go fish, doc!"

"No, that's you B.O.B.," reminded Susan gently.

"Oh. Right." B.O.B. drew a card, then turned to the next player. "Your turn honey!"

The jello, for its part, jiggled.

"...Yes I do have a jack!" B.O.B. answered, putting the card in her hand. "You're good at this!"

Susan suppressed a giggle. B.O.B. really loved the green dessert, and from what she could see it loved him right back. He'd refused to join in the game if his girlfriend couldn't play. Doctor cockroach had resorted to handling her hand when the blob wasn't looking, which was easy to arrange. "Hey B.O.B.?"

"Yeah?" he replied, looking up at her.

Doctor Cockroach was almost instantly beside the blue monster. _Fsh-wht shuffle shuffle--_

"Do you know the muffin man?" floundered the silver-haired giant.

"The muffin man?"

_--Check check sh-fwish pair--_

"Yeah. The muffin man," Ginromica reiterated.

"Um... Does he live on cherry lane?"

Doctor cockroach held out a thumbs up.

"Yes, exactly! Thank you."

"Oh. Well... no, now that you mention it, I don't. Should I?"

"No, my dear boy," reassured the bug man, "none of us know the muffin man."

"Oh. But..." B.O.B. screwed up his one eye. "If none of us know him, how do we know he lives on cherry lane? Unless we don't know him personally... but then we're watching him for no reason! And that's creepy! Why are we watching the man we don't know?! Are we going to--"

Insectisaurus roared explanatorily.

"Exactly," Link agreed. "Insecto's absolutely right."

"Well that makes sense," B.O.B. said, relaxing. "Whose turn is it?"

"The snail's turn." Link jerked a thumb towards Escargantua.

"Hey! Don't speak about my girlfriend that way!"

Ginormica rolled her eyes. "No, he's talking about... Oh never mind."

Leaning back in her chair, she took up a moment of pondering. Here she was, in the same facility that had once been her prison, and she was thinking of it as home. Home. Huh. Amazing how life turned out.

"Another game, doc? This time you can only move pawns."

Doctor Cockroach cackled. "Well, if you INSIST, my dear..."

---

General Monger had glared at the president through the whole meeting, sursing his coffee sullenly. Wilson, in a smart maneuver, had taken the earlier order to 'fire someone' and used it to out the maintenance crew chief, so a fuse had blown and the nukes had never received the order to fire. Still, it had been pretty stupid of the president to design the buttons in the first place.

But he was a soldier, and the man was his superior officer.

"So, general, what did you think of the nerd's plan?" The two of them were walking out of the war room, silently surrounded by the secret service's entourage.

"It is a flawless exploitation of our current national income whilst incurring minimum debt, sir. I would forward it immediately if I were in your position."

"Really? I thought it would take too long. After all, does it really take a year to rebuild a city?"

General Monger rolled his eyes. "I have not had personal experience in that area, sir, but I can inform you that I had estimated it would take a decade to do so." Seeing the president's blank look, he added, "That's ten years, sir."

"Ouch. Well, I guess that those nerds can be good for something after all. I remember all those times in high school when I dunked their heads in toilets... That never gets out, by the way."

"Yes sir, mister president." Monger had spent his high school years convincing bullies to focus on their studies and wrestling the local wolves and gators; bears were hard to come by.

"Well, I'd say this was a fine meeting all the same. Monger, I think that this whole monster operation of yours is sensational. Keep up the good work, ya hear?"

"I intend to, sir." The General saluted; the president replied with a casually flicked gesture. Monger watched as the secret service entourage surrounded him, then walked out of the building.

Three blocks away, though, he punched a parking meter utterly destroying it.

Upon seeing the astounded faces of the passerbys, he explained, "It wasn't up to federal standards." Then he walked away.

Finally, a man turned to a woman. "You're _sure_ you have your subway ticket, dear?"

Monger continued marching down the street, his thoughts quietly simmering. The man was an idiot... but he was America's idiot. At least until the next election. And the general was a soldier; he'd do his duty.

But right now he needed a drink.


	2. Chapter 2

**To the mistress known as Angelic Smarty Girl the twenty fourth: Firstly, how did your family keep such a ridiculous name for twenty three generations? Secondly, thank you for your review. This is, in fact, NOT the first story I have written. Merely the first I have published under this pseudonym.**

**To Sir Utah Central: What an informative and uplifting review.**

**To the Mew Trainer: Rather difficult job you have. You're of course correct in assuming that Flagnar has hidden depths, but you'll have to wait to see what they are. With Escargantua, I was more commenting on the fact that she's only large for a snail (being horse-sized) and is still considered a monster. Granted, one that speaks french. As for your question with the dear doctor.... Mwahahahaha.**

**The following story is in no way funded or supported by Dreamworks entertainment. I am considering buying out the company.**

---

Blam! Blamdy blam blam! Blamity blam, blam blam, BOOM, bang abang bang blam!

"Pass the popcorn."

Cuthbert complied, handing Katie the bin of snacks. She was in the driver's seat because his leg was in a cast, and that was fine by him.

"See?" he ventured. "Isn't this nice? A movie, snacks, we're together," in public, "isn't this better then the vineyard?"

"Yeah sure. Oh sh-sh-sh! This is my favorite part."

Cuthbert turned to the screen. "What the heck--?!? That looks horrifically painful!!"

"Yeah," Katie grinned, "I know."

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

Katie rolled her eyes. "It's a _war_ film, Cuthbert. What did you expect?"

"I... thought maybe... it would follow the people at home..."

"Ya-huh." She looked at him. "How did you ever get on the football team anyway?"

Cuthbert shrugged. "My dad said I should try out... coach thought I was good..."

"Your fabulous wealth had nothing to do with it, eh?"

Cuthbert sighed. "I'm not responsible for my father's bribes, okay?"

"Don't bother making excuses." She turned back to the screen. "The money's why we started dating."

Silence attempted to reign, but a blood curdling scream from the screen usurped it.

"...It is?"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that and your physique. Look, I've been helping you pass class since grade three--"

"Oh my gosh what's that?!"

Cuthbert pointed to a glowing spot in the sky that was steadily getting larger. Everyone at the drive in theatre looked up in annoyance, then in horror when they realized what it could be. A short burst of engines later, and the lot was almost entirely devoid of vehicles.

"Katie! Katie, drive us out of here!" Cuthbert looked wildly at the woman in the driver's seat.

She held up a finger. "Wait a moment..." Slowly, she reached for the gearshift.

Cuthbert gave the growing fireball a panicked stare. "What are you doing?! That thing's going to crash into us!"

"Wait for it..." Katie shifted into reverse and put a hand on the keys.

"Are you INSANE?!?!"

"Quite possibly. Three... two... one..."

Gunning the engine, she shot backwards a mere foot as the object landed.

"See?" She smiled, waving toward the egg-shaped pod. "Didn't even scratch the paint."

"...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Suddenly, with a soft whoosh of air, a hatch opened on the pod, sliding out and aside to reveal a strange and shifting maze of light silhouetting an inhuman figure with a pair of guns in her hands.

"So. This is the Earth I've heard so much about."

***

"We're getting a television show?"

General Monger stared at Ginormica with the absolute deadpan face only his lifestyle could muster. "This enterprise has been agreed to by our accounting department as a method to supplement our official income for temporary housing of newly identified and relocated monsters until we have a legal residence for them."

"What?" asked B.O.B., looking at the paper he held suspiciously.

Doctor Cockroach flipped it right way up for him. "It means we can provide rooms for newbies until they have one made."

"About time too." Link stretched his spine. "Bunking with Escargantua was absolutly horrific, let me tell you."

The snail glared at him. "Well, it was no promenade en parc for je, Monsieur!"

"Hey, no offense, you're great as a friend, but a bunkmate--"

"I mean we have our own show!" Susan interrupted. "So, we'll be on sets?"

General Monger shook his head. "Unfortunately there are legal problems with bringing cameras to the facility, and practical problems with bringing you to the stage. Therefore the studio has decided to create the series in an animated format."

"Oh. Well, I like animation."

"Indeed," Cockroach nodded, "I find that it is an under-represented art that could well create true masterpieces."

Link shrugged. "Yeah, I prefer it to live action. Have you seen rubber scale suits? That could never truly capture me, but animation would let the essential Linkness shine."

"I think that it's great!" B.O.B. piped up. "It's cheap, but can do so very much! Animation is _one _thing I'm sure of!"

Insectisaurus roared in agreement.

Esgargantua rubbed under her beret. "Cher Dieu…"

"I suppose the scripts will be based off of our missions," the bugman commented.

"Those that are deemed safe for public release, yes." General Monger averted his gaze. "You understand that some of your acts will have to remain classified."

Susan nodded. "I get that. Hey, it says we get to voice ourselves!"

"And discuss scripts with the writers before they're finalized," Doctor Cockroach added. "I find that to be a very important part of the contract."

The general coughed. "If you all don't mind, I would prefer you sign those quickly. We have a situation developing that you need to look into, and the plane is prepped for departure.

"Oh. Sure, I don't mind." Susan gave one last look through her magnifying glass. "It's just this contract seems too good to be true, I keep looking for loopholes or something..."

"My dear," Doctor Cockroach gently reminded her, "we are monsters."

Link grinned. "It ain't smart to get on our bad side."

"Vraiment?" commented Escargantua.

"That's right, girl." He whisked his signature across the paper and headed for the door. "Come on, let's do this thing!"

The snail rolled her eyes. "I must question his intelligence, then."

***

Derek shuffled through his bills.

Looking at the man, one might not believe he was the same television entity that had once dated Ginormica. Oh, his face was still clean-shaven and handsome, and he still had that wide, powerful smile.... but here, slouching in his plaid pajamas, you could see the regret and despair.

He had had it all, or a very big part of it once, and now he delivered newspapers. At least he was still a public face.... sort of.

He glanced at his pet cages. In one, a small brown bug constantly scuttled around the thin layer of dirt, while the case above it held a basking moth. Both of these annoyed the small toad by simply being out of his box, but there was always food provided, so it tolerated the inconvenience. The red jellyfish in the aquarium floated serenely and listlessly through the water.

Derek nodded, turning away. "I wonder if I should get a slug..." He shrugged and continued to scan his mail. no signs of promotion yet, but he knew that it would happen, that soon his life would change, and he'd be on the screen again.

And perhaps, if one looked in his eye, one might realize that there was something missing from it now...


End file.
